PREVENTING
ARMAGEDDON.
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Over a decade lost in the IT trenches. I spent ten years building systems just to watch them break, eventually settling into the dark arts of Infosec and Sysadmin wizardry. I can still spot Base64 on sight: a truly useless superpower.
My descent into this digital madness began with the haunting screech of a 56k modem, a sound that apparently rewired my brain for a life of troubleshooting.
I don't actually do Infosec or development for a living anymore, but good luck trying to make me stop caring about it. It remains my favorite way to waste a weekend.
I'm fluent in Python, PHP, and Visual Basic (and yes, it's Visual Basic, keep your .NET opinions to yourself).
I'll be the first to admit I probably don't write "good" code by modern, bloated standards, but I can guarantee it's still more functional than whatever masterpiece a junior with a "bright idea" and a fresh ChatGPT prompt is currently hallucinating. I've traded the professional grind for the freedom to break things on my own terms.
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Let's talk.
Available for high-stakes projects and digital architecture consulting. Just kidding. I'm open to offers, but nothing serious. If you want someone to look busy while doing the bare minimum, get in touch.